3 comments / Posted by Veronica Janik

I had this realization yesterday,

the last day of 2017, that I was indeed spending the day similar to how I had spent the entire past year. I woke up, burned breakfast, threw on clothes and ran to the mall to try to find something to wear to the NYE party I was going to, left with pajamas and fishnets, ran home hungry and running late to a family dinner, showed up late to dinner and left early to shower and get ready to drive to LA.

No reflections. No ritual.

The years prior to this, actually for all of my twenties, I always took time for myself on New Years Eve. It was typical for me to gather with mentors, close friends, or lovers to set intention, meditate, and melt into ritual. An evening where I journaled and spent my evening in the bath or dining somewhere low key. I spent so much time in my twenties creating an identity where everything I did was based around creating better health and balance in my life. And I did this because I no longer wanted to suffer the way I had for years and years. There was no end in sight to my suffering for most of those years, and I had pretty much resolved that my life was going to be torture until it was over.

And it took me 6 years of this to realize that there was much more to healing than a regimented order of operations I read on Mind Body Green or Goop. 

When I moved to Orange County 11 years ago (the bougier bordering county to the city in the foothills where I grew up), my mom was like a broken record over the years reminding me not to forget where I came from. Reminding me not to get caught up in the superficial attitudes of those areas etc. And to be honest, it is really hard not to be tempted by the luxurious mood and feeling that was so tightly woven into the yoga community and was honestly so foreign to me but also very alluring. The expensive organic grocery stores with parking lots full of temperamental yogis driving BMWs lol. Oddly enough, the health food and the new-age 'spiritual' communities are EXTRA present visually in LA and OC. I was like, hello ghetto bitch from Riverside, this is your new life. And it felt like honey. At first. It also felt like the answer to all the trauma I carried, because everyone I met in these circle was healing emotionally or physically in some capacity. Until I realized that the actual scene was an entire vibration of perpetual healing.

At the point in which I realized there was a heavy component to my transformation that was solely based on releasing the fear I had of my own power, I realized just how toxic many of these circles had become for me.

And in 2017, I became so fucking annoyed at the ethical imbalance in what I saw going on, whether it be the fact that we see an entire community of rich white Los Angeles women as the face of herbalism, spirituality, and indigenous ritual on social media, or a whole entire community of people struggling indefinitely with health problems whilst playing the role of healer... meanwhile I can literally feel the imbalance within these people so viscerally.

The concept:

A new found way to ignore our own difficult task of healing: a never ending discussion about how the fuck we're gonna do it and of course, cliques and the whole wellness industry to further convolute a deeply inward path.

YOU GUYS, I promise you that your most valuable healing will be supplied:

1. By internal dialogue with yourself. People will honestly do anything to avoid facing their own soul, remember that.

2. By wellness professionals who keep their physical and energetic space clear. Not an easy one to come by. Be wise here. 

I have never been good at faking the funk. I tried guys... and I felt gross. The truth is that my authenticity, and my realness when it comes to faith and connection are blended into the complexity that is, me.

I have found myself in a stream of connectivity receiving clear signs and angel numbers whilst living a life, by the standard of this LA wellness clique, that was utter white trash, sis.

My version of wellness isn't Goop or Mind Body Green. It's chillin with people I grew up with and giving advice, love, and friendship from a place of wisdom that many of them were never exposed to. It's fostering crystals and trusting the process of providing the right person with the right stone. Turning my family on to organic meats and vegetables. Observing ignorance and using it for teaching opportunities. It's living for the untethered joy of dancing in dirty downtown bars with my best friend whilst both knowing that our souls are ancient and we're here to play and master, regardless of the hilariously shameful level of destruction we've caused in our hometown.

We're still in perfect spiritual alignment, okay heaux?

Break the walls down, and allow the fullness of your identity to be what YOU want people to truly see when they attempt to know you. Practice this in all circles in which you associate. Are you YOU with your family? Your friends that aren't into healthy living, all three of your boyfriends, your spiritual friends etc...? Show your multi-dimensional qualities. This is how people find you relatable or inspiring. Relate-ability breeds compassion. And let's be honest, we live in a world where we could do so very much with more compassion.

So go, do your light work.

Bri from The Hood Witch tweeted, "Balance that woo with ya ratch." and that was my mantra all 2017, and I plan to carry it right into 2018 with the clearest version of myself yet. Happy new year beauties! I love you all.

I would love to create an advice column on this blog. If you want to submit a topic/question for me to discuss, comment your entry below or email it to hello@the-commonwoman.com. Topics like spiritualism, diet, healing, questions about my journey, dating, sex, ethics, etc. are all on the table.  

All my love,



  • Posted On March 05, 2018 by Patrick

    So true. People will never be their true self even if they think they are. I’ve recently just been dumped in the worse way possible. But thats for another time. I just moved back from OC to Riverside and I know exaclty the lifestyle you’re talking about. This was about 3 months ago and I’ve accepted it and moved on. But I recently read on twitter sometimes you need bad things to happen to inspire you to change and grow. And I felt as if it was literally talking to me. I mean I’m not a bad person and I did everything in my power to keep the relationship happy but I cant dwell on this relationship. I’ve learned alot from this relationship. I put a lot of love into it. Not just because I loved her but it was me being the pisces I am. Now its time for growth. Mentally and financially. One thing I’ve learned in my past is you cant force anything to happen. Things will pan out just the way life meant for it. As far as faking the funk like you say, its not worth it. We are who we are. If I have to fake who I am for a woman to like me or to befriend someone chances are that relationship wont last or be as good as a relationship where they accept you for you. I wont change for nobody but myself and that will only be for the better. I still open the doors for women (cars and building doors), walk my dates on the inside of the sidewalk, walk them to their doors. Pay even though people are now going “dutch”. Chivalry is not dead. Anyway. Great post. Hope I didn’t bore you.

  • Posted On January 02, 2018 by Michele

    OMG…yes to all of this. I am personal development junkie, buying books and watching webinars, but not making any real moves. But then I would get upset at why things weren’t working or moving forward. And…I would beat myself up because I wasn’t doing things the way the articles, IG and the spiritual gurus I followed said. Till I got that this is my motherfricken journey, so I do what I want, how I want. This is how I am living this year. Love your article!!

  • Posted On January 02, 2018 by Beth Aiken

    I agree. For me the biggest healing came via falling in love with myself, at 58, 59, 60… It took focus and attention, which are hard to sustain when my brain decides it needs rest, but has become a more ingrained habit. Creating that new pattern is so worth it. Learning to be happy, even in the midst of cycles of pain or brain fatigue, came after the falling in love efforts.
    Also, I do have a question, of sorts. I have a hard time choosing crystals/stones, as well as a difficult time retaining new info at times. I was wondering, if I gave you a description of my current circumstances/challenges I’m facing would you tell me which crystal you’d choose for yourself if you were in a similar situation?

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